The Washington Times - September 20, 2008, 10:09AM

Who broke my economy? Which one of you broke it?

Was it you, Sam Jr.? Was it you, Frannie? Or you, Li?


I know it was one of you, so fess up. Don’t make me start counting.

I left the room just a minute ago, and my economy was fine on the mantle, where I’ve always kept it. I went to get a bubble tea, and I heard a crash, and I rushed back in here to find my economy smashed on the floor and all of you standing around with your hands in your pockets trying to look innocent.

So who broke it? Was it you, Basil? I know you’ve had your eye on my economy for a long time.

My economy has been in the family for years. It’s been passed down from one generation to the next for I don’t know how long. It’s an heirloom, and I was looking to pass it down to one, maybe two, of my kids. There wasn’t enough for all of them.

Look at this mess! How am I supposed to put this back together? I don’t even know what that piece is. And this piece? Nobody knows what this piece is for.

This isn’t the first time it’s been smashed, you know. That’s why it had all those cracks and duct tape. Sure it was a little creaky and top-heavy. But it worked. Don’t you dare point your finger at me! It was not too heavy for that mantle and you know it.

I was proud of my economy. It was better than all the other economies, and their owners were so jealous. They’d say,”You have no culture and no sense of history.” And I’d say, “Yeah, but you wish you had my economy.” Then they’d just look down at their shoes and nod. They know I’m right.

Now my economy is going to look more like Hugo’s. Hugo‘s! And he broke his on purpose!

So who broke my economy? OK, I’m going to start counting, and whoever did it had better fess up before I get to a trillion.


And whoever hid my health care had better speak up too!