Carleton Bryant
Articles by Carleton Bryant
OUT OF CONTEXT: I’m back in the saddle again, but I’ve lost my horse
The good news is that movie producers want to make a film about Susan Boyle's life and her overnight stardom. The bad news is they want Robin Williams to play her. Published August 30, 2009
OUT OF CONTEXT: If you’re in the middle of nowhere, we’re practically neighbors
I live in a small "town" in Anne Arundel County, Md., called Pasadena. Don't be surprised if you haven't heard of it. A lot of the people who live here haven't heard of it either. Published August 9, 2009
OUT OF CONTEXT: People who live in glass houses should get dressed quickly
There was a report out last week that researchers have duplicated parts of a rat brain from lab data and say that a functioning artificial brain could be built within 10 years. And to think that the Scarecrow settled for a diploma. Published August 2, 2009
OUT OF CONTEXT: This headline has been recycled to combat global yawning
With all this debate over how to kill a lobster, I'm glad that I don't have to resolve any ethical concerns about my favorite food. Published July 26, 2009
OUT OF CONTEXT: I’m living proof that less is more. Or less.
If you have a dog, you have a friend for life. If you have a cat, you have a haughty, annoying fur ball that orders you around and looks at you as if you're wearing a clown suit at a wedding. Published July 19, 2009
OUT OF CONTEXT: Life’s a balancing act, and I have an inner ear problem
Last Saturday, my son bought a "long board," or, as I like to say, "an accident waiting to happen." Published July 12, 2009
OUT OF CONTEXT: If you look closely at my picture, you’ll see my eyes are following you
A new study shows that lions form prides to defend their turf against other lions, not to hunt more efficiently. Who knew lions were so gangsta? Published July 5, 2009
OUT OF CONTEXT: I do have moments of lucidity, just not that often
It's bad enough when you hurt yourself playing a real sport. But when you hurt yourself with a remote-control device, you've really got problems. Published June 28, 2009
OUT OF CONTEXT: Random thoughts … in alphabetical order
My family will provide me special treatment this Father's Day — a full day of allowing me complete and total control of the TV remote. Ah, bliss! Published June 21, 2009
OUT OF CONTEXT: Once more, this time with feeling
Sen. Chuck Grassley chastised President Obama on Twitter. What was most surprising to a lot of people about Grassley's messages is that he has a Twitter account. Published June 14, 2009
OUT OF CONTEXT: Didn’t Olivia Newton-John sing ‘Let’s get political?’
So I guess Sen. Roland Burris has got some explaining to do, huh? Published May 31, 2009
OUT OF CONTEXT: I aim to move you — physically, if necessary.
Are deceased persons who receive stimulus checks properly known as the grateful dead? Published May 24, 2009
OUT OF CONTEXT: You’re right, I don’t get out much. How’d you know?
I went to a fancy party in New York the other night, and all I got was a head-butt from Kiefer Sutherland. … It was awesome! Published May 17, 2009
OUT OF CONTEXT: This is for all you mothers out there — you know who you are
The nickname "OctoMom" sounds like she should have eight legs and squirt ink. If only that had been her claim to fame. Published May 10, 2009
OUT OF CONTEXT: Just a little too much information, for my taste
Scientists have created a spider web so strong that it can bind a man indefinitely. Now, they're trying to make a chicken egg so strong that it can't be broken. That's useful. Published May 3, 2009
OUT OF CONTEXT: Don’t talk about the weather. Do something about it!
A little-known fact of life: Everything is better with bacon. Try it. Published April 26, 2009
OUT OF CONTEXT: Another day, another dollar (or 37.69 cents after taxes)
I read last week that Guinness is readying a new beer for its 250th anniversary. For those of you who know me, beer-related news is usually good news. Published April 19, 2009
OUT OF CONTEXT: Make Tax Day a holiday — with pay
Every time I fall, I get right back up on that No. 2 pencil. Because that's how I roll. Published April 12, 2009
OUT OF CONTEXT: Shamed and disgraced? No? Then entertain me
It's looks like Rod Blagojevich is on a roll. Published April 5, 2009
OUT OF CONTEXT: Shhh! Let’s just keep this one between you and me
Researchers have discovered a gene that, when turned off, allows mice to eat all the carbs they want without getting fat. If we allow mice to gorge themselves, what will pigs do? Published March 29, 2009
