It’s over. And if you’re reading this, you survived. The year 2022 will go down in history as, well, a year.
Maybe it’s the Year of the Bunny. Or the Year of Yellow Dog’s Return. Or maybe it’s the Year of the MAGA Clones.
Well, it’s definitely the Year We’re Glad Joe Biden Was Wearing a Helmet. And the Year Mitch McConnell Inspired No One.
And, in the women’s liberation movement, it’s the Year Speaker Nancy Pelosi Became the First Woman to Lose the House — Twice!
Sexists used to say that “a woman’s place is in the house.” Apparently, they were not talking about Mrs. Pelosi.
Thankfully, 2022 will all soon be over. And to spare you having to relive it, we have compiled a few of the highlights — and lowlights — from this most forgettable year.
BORDER COLLAPSE: After half a century of failure in Washington, President Biden finally canceled the United States. He simply took an eraser and removed our borders from the map. We are no longer a nation — only a partial continent (Canada still strictly enforces its border to our north). Mr. Biden’s feat is particularly impressive considering how his predecessor — after decades of lies, death and double-dealing at the border — became the first president since 1986 to gain control of the border.
WAR PARTY: Not since Vietnam has any Democratic president more zealously pursued a war — this one another proxy war against a great global foe. Mr. Biden’s disastrous green energy policies spiked fuel prices and weakened America and her allies while empowering Russia, which allowed Vladimir Putin to invade Ukraine. Mr. Biden has spent over $100 billion of your money to keep the war going. There are certainly Republicans who support Mr. Biden’s war, but the party is divided over spending $100 billion on a border in eastern Europe while our border remains wide open. Meanwhile, Mr. Biden and Democrats are totally unified in their bloodlust for this war.
BUNNYMEN: The White House hired an Easter Bunny to protect Mr. Biden from answering questions from the press. But the Bunny was not on hand to keep Mr. Biden from falling off his bike riding across the road at the beach. Thankfully, he was wearing a helmet.
ABORTION: The only thing that unifies Democrats more than the war in Ukraine is abortion up to the ninth month of pregnancy/at birth. Thanks to three justices placed on the bench by former President Donald Trump, the Supreme Court overturned Roe v. Wade — allowing citizens to elect representatives to write laws governing abortion. The subsequent 2022 election suggests that the overturning of Roe may have helped Democrats blunt their losses, meaning there are Democratic voters out there who care more about aborting babies in the ninth month than they do about a poor, working mother’s ability to afford groceries to feed her children.
SUPREME HISTORY: Speaking of the Supremes, the court made history over the summer when the first Black woman was confirmed to the high court. Unfortunately, the trophy for first Black woman had to be taken away after the first Black female justice could not define what a “woman” was. No word on whether she/he/them could define what a “Black” is.
LOCK UP THE SPAM: Cities around the country run by Democrats continued to see record-high homelessness, double-digit spikes in crime, mass illegal immigration and what one Democratic politician called the “vortex of misery” resulting from his policies. In New York City, poverty and lawlessness became so bad that stores had to start locking up the canned meat product Spam to keep starving shoplifters from stealing it.
RISE OF THE MAGA CLONES: Republicans failed to achieve the great red wave everyone expected in the elections. But the Republicans who won big ran on the new Republican agenda ushered in by Mr. Trump. Meanwhile, Democrat John Fetterman revived the “yellow dog Democrat” — the tendency of Democrats to blindly vote in such lockstep that even a dog with a “D” after his name can get elected. But yellow dog democracy only gets you so far these days. Just ask Stacey Abrams and Beto O’Rourke. (Hahahahahaha!)
You can also ask Mrs. Pelosi. She will be in the House — but in one of the seats at the back of the room.
Happy new year!
• Charles Hurt is the opinion editor for the Washington Times.
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