- The Washington Times - Thursday, March 30, 2023

Donald Trump once said “two Corinthians” instead of Second Corinthians, and the political press melted down.

A mentally deranged woman commits a terrorist attack against a Christian school, killing three children along with three adults trying to protect them — and President Biden goes for ice cream. 

Bill Clinton famously mastered the role of consoler-in-chief, biting his lip and feeling your pain. George W. Bush will forever be remembered for vowing revenge on behalf of an enraged nation amid the smoking ruins of the twin towers.

Barack Obama never faced a national crisis that did not inspire in him a professorial lecture. Mr. Trump memorably threw paper towels at survivors of a hurricane in Puerto Rico.

In response to Monday’s murderous rampage at a Christian school in Nashville, Tennessee, Mr. Biden used his first public comments to work on his newest comedy material. 

“My name is Joe Biden,” the president opened, waiting a half beat for full comedic effect. “I’m Jill Biden’s husband.”

Painful, awkward, feigned laughter filled the East Room of the White House. But Mr. Biden was not done yet.

“And I eat Jeni’s ice cream,” he continued, yukking it up and — apparently — amusing himself.

“Chocolate chip,” he blurted out, as if anyone mourning the slaughter of three innocent children cared about Mr. Biden’s dessert preferences. 

“I came down because I heard there was chocolate chip ice cream!”

More awkward, painful, feigned laughter. But Mr. Biden misunderstood the disbelief.

“By the way, I have a whole refrigerator full upstairs.”




“You think I’m kidding? I’m not,” he pressed on.

Mr. Biden is a very old 80-year-old. He has been the butt of jokes in Washington for 50 years. Everybody has always rolled their eyes whenever he starts talking. Nobody believes a word he says.

Everybody also knows he never knows when to quit or when to shut up.

But this is a new low, even for Mr. Biden — who has been plumbing new lows in politics for more than half a century. And it’s not like he can claim that he did not know the murderous rampage had just happened hours before he hit the comedy circuit in the East Room.

Within minutes of the carnage, Mr. Biden’s press office issued stern statements demanding that Congress disarm law-abiding Americans in the aftermath of the shooting. 

What kind of sicko uses a moment when Americans are most under attack to threaten to disarm them? And what kind of sicko uses the deaths of three children to score political points and push a dangerous political agenda?

In the East Room, Mr. Biden was not finished hamming it up. And droning on and on about ice cream and how much he loves it — even before funeral plans could be made for three children.

“Jeni’s splendid ice cream! And, by the way — by the way — it is splendid.”

“If I were allowed to take you upstairs, you got a whole freezer full of Jeni’s chocolate chip ice cream,” he said as his eyes rolled into the back of his head, dreaming the sweet dreams of Jeni’s chocolate chip ice cream.

He snapped out of his ice cream trance.

“You know, it’s pretty dull when you’ve been in public life as long as I have, and you’re known for two things: chocolate chip ice cream and Ray-Ban sunglasses — but what the hell,” he joked.

Editor’s note: Joe Biden will actually be mostly known for destroying America’s border, wrecking the economy, annihilating the country’s energy production and ushering in the largest crime spike of the 21st century. He will be known as one of the biggest liars ever to work in Washington, one of the most thoroughly corrupt presidents in history. And for being a terrible father and a creep.

Later in his bizarre comedy tour in the aftermath of the slaughter of innocent children, Mr. Biden was still working on his material, even when asked specifically about the school shooting.

Reporters asked Mr. Biden if he thought Christians had been specifically targeted in the attack. He said he did not know. 

When told that a Republican lawmaker believed the attack was targeted, Mr. Biden saw an opening for more of his comedic material.

“Well, I probably don’t then,” he joked, openly chuckling, before stopping himself.

“I’m joking,” he added. “No. I have no idea.”

The man is deranged. He is senile. He is corrupt, and he is evil. He needs to be removed from office.

• Charles Hurt is the opinion editor at The Washington Times. 

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