The only thing more unwatchable than President Joe Biden’s “Mary Poppins of Disinformation” sing-songing her way through a screeching political rant into her computer camera at home is — well — President Biden himself. Speaking from the Roosevelt Room. In the White House.
Reading from a prompter, Mr. Biden vowed to “accommodate the Russian oligarchs.”
“Heh,” he laughed — groping, blinking — before going on. “We’re gonna accommodate them.”
And then the wheels came off.
When Mr. Biden tried talking about Mr. Putin’s “kleptocrac—” his brain fizzled. Water seeped into the motherboard. His eyes rolled into the back of his head. He shuddered and stuttered. Garbled word fragments tumbled incoherently out of his mouth.
The leader of the free world was rolling live from the White House. His nurses could not intervene. No time to press the Life Alert button. Visiting Angels had to hover off-camera until he got through it.
For anyone who cares about other humans, it felt like an eternity. It was painful to watch.
Finally, Mr. Biden found a word.
“But these are bad guys,” he concluded before laughing again, awkwardly.
However bad Vladimir Putin and his kleptocrac— olgabarks may be, they’re nothing compared to the visions of fairy plums and sugar fairies dancing around underneath Mr. Biden’s hair plugs.
After barely one year as president, Mr. Biden has managed to wreck the economy, lose a 20-year war, jack up gas prices to historic levels, ignite a tinder box of inflation, clear out grocery shelves, destroy the supply chain and invite an unprecedented invasion at our southern border.
Apparently deciding he is capable of doing even more, Mr. Biden opened up a “Disinformation Governance Board” inside the Department of Homeland Security. And he hired one of the truly ridiculous figures ever to grace Instagram to be the executive director of the “Disinformation Governance Board.”
Nina Jankowicz sings like a strangled rooster and mimes into the camera like the most cloying, insufferable music teacher you ever had in kindergarten.
A quick glance through her life history on Snapchat you learn that she promoted Christopher Steele’s dossier, which was actual Kremlin disinformation morphed into Democrat campaign fake oppo research. She dismissed Hunter Biden’s laptop as a “fairytale” and “Russian influence” — even though every gigabyte of it is entirely, 100 percent, authentic.
And now she “shudders” in fear to think of Elon Musk restoring free speech to Twitter.
The only thing Nina Jankowicz could possibly do to clear disinformation in America today would be to shut up her stupid mouth. This, of course, would mitigate disinformation in America only a slight bit because no serious person in America takes the child crackpot seriously enough to listen to her in the first place.
Only people as hopelessly stupid as the Biden Administration take a nitwit like this seriously, let alone make her Overlord of Truth inside the federal government’s most powerful and heavily armed domestic agency.
The real question is this: Where does Joe Biden find people like this?
Well, this one came from the bowels of the supposedly non-partisan Wilson Center, named for President Woodrow Wilson, the mental case whose neurological degeneration in the White House would later become the inspiration for the 25th Amendment.
At the Wilson Center, Ms. Jankowicz was the Hillary Rodham Clinton Public Policy Fellow. So, you know, non-partisan. And a congenitally honest person.
(Remember when New York Times columnist William Safire called Mrs. Clinton a “congenital” liar and President Clinton threatened to punch him in the face over it? Do you think maybe Mr. Clinton just didn’t know exactly what the word “congenital” meant and thought it was something of the sexual nature? Literally, anything containing “genital” aroused that guy.)
Anyway, as the Hillary Clinton Public Policy Fellow at the Wilson Center, Ms. Jankowicz specialized in promoting government propaganda on behalf of the Ukrainian government. What is it about Ukraine with the Biden Administration? It is almost like they have some kind of huge, personal financial interest in Ukraine.
Here’s another possibility. Before Nina Jankowicz became the Hillary Rodham Clinton Public Policy Fellow at the Wilson Center and before she became the laughingstock of disinformation for the Biden Administration, she was — according to the Internet — in a girl band called Moaning Myrtle, named for a character from the hit children’s book series Harry Potter.
Moaning Myrtle is the creepy, moaning character who hangs out in the girls’ bathroom at Hogwarts boarding school and — most notably — spies on young Harry Potter taking a bath.
• Charles Hurt is the opinion editor at The Washington Times.
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