In an extraordinary — nearly unprecedented — development, Joe Biden has picked an all-female senior communications team.
No man has ever picked an all-female senior communications team — at least not since the current occupant of the White House picked an all-female senior communications team.
In other words, Joe Biden is the first man to be the second person ever to pick an all-female senior communications team.
It’s complicated. You wouldn’t get it, sweetheart. It’s basically man-splaining for politics.
President Trump picked an all-female senior communications team but nobody reported it because, well, Mr. Trump is not very nice to the political press and he is not a lifelong political hack in Washington.
I mean, really, if a tree falls in the woods and nobody is there to hear it, did it actually make any sound? Bet you never even thought of that.
So, along comes Joe Biden, a lifelong political hack in Washington who is shamelessly crotch-nuzzled by the political press. That makes him the first crotch-nuzzled DC-lifer to name an all-female senior communications team.
In terms of actual “firsts,” Joe Biden is the oldest man to ever name an all-female communications team in history.
In another historic first, Joe Biden is the first man ever to tap washed-up former Sen. John Kerry to save the world. OK again, Mr. Biden is the first man to be the second person to pick Mr. Kerry to save the world.
Former President Barack Obama in Year Four of Our Political Lord and Savior tapped Monsieur Kerry to be Secretary of State in order to save the world. But this time, M. Kerry has been selected to actually save the world.
As our climate czar.
At least we can all agree on one thing. The guy is an unrivaled expert on hot air. And he made a lot of money — the old fashioned way. He married rich and got into politics.
MAGA! Or, in this case, MIGA!
Make Iran Great Again!
And then there is Ron Klain. Mr. Biden made history by hiring the D.C. lifer who went to Harvard Law School, has worked in two previous Democrat administrations and spent the rest of his time in Washington as a lobbyist.
The guy has been bought and paid for by Big Tech, Fannie Mae, the pharmaceutical industry, the asbestos industry and China.
What could go wrong?
The only way to end the racist “America First” agenda is if you replace “America” with a bunch of other crap.
Welcome to the “Asbestos First” administration. You know, “climate.”
Make Asbestos Great Again!
Or, “China First.” Again, “climate.”
At this point, with Ron Klain as chief of staff, Mr. Biden has knocked “America” down to at least “America Seventh.” But there is still plenty of time yet.
So many historic firsts Mr. Biden will achieve. Here is another.
Mr. Biden is now the oldest man ever who named an all-female communications team to break bones in his foot while allegedly playing with his dog.
Another truly historic moment in presidential history. Joe Biden is now hobbling around in a geriatric orthopedic foot bootie while measuring the drapes of the Oval Office.
Somebody get that man a walker! With fresh tennis balls!
And about that dog. Did anybody see Joe Biden’s dog attack Joe Biden’s ancient foot? Where were his nurses?
For that matter, where was Kamala Harris? And can someone please explain to me why Kamala Harris checked out all the “how to” books by Tonya Harding last week from her local library?
Is there something going on here that we should know about? Is Joe Biden’s dog actually a Ukrainian Russian plant, working as a cyber bot in cahoots with Kamala Harris to, you know, “whack” her way to the top?
And why does Kamala Harris have a guy named “Jeff Gillooly” on speed dial in her phone?
Quick! Somebody call a Special Counsel. Let’s get a FISA wiretap for her phone!
• Charles Hurt is opinion editor of The Washington Times. He can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org or @charleshurt3 on Parler.
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