- The Washington Times
Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Advice compiled and condensed from actual sources by Kelly Jane Torrance, who composed the questions.

Even the most beautiful women in the world can have trouble with their husbands. Mine is being sued for sexual harassment. It’s rather humiliating. He isn’t even accused of trying to bed classy women he’s been slapped with a lawsuit by a couple of former waitresses at one of the bars he owns. I have no idea if the allegations are true or not. But why would a man be even remotely interested in any other women when he’s dating one of the original supermodels? — Cindy Crawford

Dear Cindy,

Adultery is the application of democracy to love.

- H.L. Mencken

I’m starting to wonder if I should just stick to being a bombshell. I’ve been muse to Woody Allen, one of our greatest living directors. But a girl wants to be known for more than just her looks, so I’ve tried branching out to little success, it seems. I released an album last year that critics were rather unkind about. And now my directorial debut has been rejected. I made a film to contribute to a collection of shorts called “New York, I Love You.” But the producer has decided not to include it, making it available only as an extra on the DVD when it comes out. Another young actress, Natalie Portman, shot one that made it into the film. Should I give up on being more than just an actress? –- Scarlett Johansson

Dear Scarlett,

Actors search for rejection. If they don’t get it they reject themselves.

— Charlie Chaplin

My husband very publicly had to admit he cheated on me and possibly fathered a child with his mistress. So I did the only thing a high-profile, humiliated woman like me could do: write a book about the experience. I’m going on #”The Oprah Winfrey Show,” one of television’s most watched, to promote it. In my book, I call his mistress “pathetic,” but some people have suggested I am for talking about her like that in public. Don’t you agree that I’m the victim here and I deserve a little sympathy?#–- Elizabeth Edwards

Dear Elizabeth,

Nothing looks so like innocence as an indiscretion.

- Oscar Wilde

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